The Real Thing by Susie Felber, guest cupcake correspondent

The Real Thing
By Susie Felber, guest correspondent

I like cupcakes. I do. Not liking cupcakes seems about as likely as not liking puppies, sunbeams or puppies basking in sunbeams.

But I have never loved a cupcake. Loved a cupcake so passionately and completely that I couldn't function because my thoughts would wander back to how I could steal more time away with my cupcake. Felt so deeply for a cupcake that I begged a cupcake blog to let me extol it. Basically, no cupcake has interested me more than a flesh and blood lover.

...until now.

I bet you’re wondering how we met? It was in such an unexpected place. Third avenue at 27th street. I live in the heart of the hip bakery nexus: only a stone’s throw from Magnolia, Mary’s on Jane and more. Every night as I walk my dog through the west village I watch the pilgrims flock to Magnolia spilling out onto the sidewalk until the wee hours. But I’ve never really understood the hype. I am not a cupcake scenester. Maybe I’m too easy. I like a cupcake that does the job and that’s it. That’s why I would never kick a Hostess, with her curvaceous hydrogenated stripe, out of bed.

Anyway I could tell you about a cell phone conversation outside a Japanese restaurant on a crisp night that made me linger out on the pavement… I could tell you about the mysterious enormous green and blue confections in the window of the pastry shop… I didn’t know what they were, but as soon as they made eye contact, I wanted them. But the store was closed for the night. This was no scene, this was a gallery of fine edible art. It would be a week of my dreaming about these things before I had the chance to duck in and tuck in.

OK, I will now cut the shit and get to the creamy details. Here you go:

Picture a green frog or blue monster crafted thickly from that taut icing you get on a black and white cookie.

Then imagine this creature filled with almond flavored icing. Pink almond flavored icing, so that when you bite into it, you can savor its adorable, suspended icing blood.

And finally, try to conceive that this amazing phallic tower of icing is given eyes, a mouth and then the entire 6-inch high creation is

– drum roll please –

set atop a cupcake.

This is the real thing, y’all.
Please feel free to visit our registry, and feel free to get one of your own.

Monster/Frog cupcakes
La Delice Pastry Shop
372 Third avenue (corner 27th street)
NY, NY
$3