Doctors discuss cupcakes for kids

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photos from Flickr user Glorious Treats - her daughter's first cupcake

Wow, a serious discussion about cupcakes, by T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., and Joshua Sparrow, M.D., in the Houston Chronicle under the headline, "Denying a cupcake is an arbitrary consequence." (Syndicated from the New York Times)

Recently a grandmother wrote in about a day-care birthday celebration where a mother brought nine cupcakes for 12 children. The reader's 3-year-old grandson got animal crackers instead of a cupcake because, the teacher explained, "he had been acting badly all day because it wasn't his birthday." We wrote, "Withholding food is no way to punish or reward a child, and eating problems later on are a likely result." Now another reader adds an opinion.

Q: I do not equate holding back a cupcake to a child who is disruptive as holding back "food."

This was a treat and if the child was disruptive and warned he would not participate in celebrating the birthday of someone in the class by withholding a cupcake then I feel this was appropriate.

Too many kids are given the prize even when they don't deserve it. This enforces bad behavior because there are no consequences.

Comments

Paula said…
If I were a teacher and a parent brought in treats, but not enough for the whole class, I'd throw them out. That's just terrible!
5/27/2008 1:21 PM
Anonymous said…
Yes, I also have to question why the mother didn't bring enough for the whole class to begin with!? I realize that's not the question at hand but that's the one I wonder about.
5/27/2008 2:07 PM
Anonymous said…
I too wonder why there wasn't enough for the whole group. :( Bad planning on the birthday kids' mother's end. However, since that's not at hand... IF the child was told beforehand that if he didn't act appropriately he wasn't going to get a cupcake, then ok. But if he was "acting badly" because it wasn't his birthday and then it was decided, well that's bad. And did anyone actually take the time to explain to the poor little guy that it wasn't his birthday and that he'll have one too? Three is a rough age and he may or may not have caught onto the aspect of why the other kid's mom brought in cupcakes.
5/27/2008 2:21 PM
Kelli said…
1) I think I would have cut the cupcakes in half so there were enough.
2) I would have put a different punishment than not participating or having a cupcake, like a timeout. small children need a quick NOW consiquence for bad behavior not missing out on what others are doing later.
5/27/2008 2:57 PM
Mel said…
The parent should have made sure about the number of kids OR the daycare provider should have cut the cupcakes in half. No one should have suffered for a parent not bringing enough for the whole class. I am guilty of not sending enough cupcakes...
5/27/2008 3:42 PM
Ana said…
I agree that the fundamental problem here seems to have been negligent planning on the part of the birthday kids parents. The part that got me was the image of a three year old holding an animal cracker while all the other kids got delicious cup cakes. It really just seems mean spirited.
5/27/2008 3:48 PM
Anonymous said…
I just wanted to add it is never a good idea to use food, either as a punishment or a reward for children. This often encourages eating disorders and anxiety related eating to foster the ideas of what is a "good" or "forbidden" or such.

Using time outs or withholding other things (NOT physical play time) such as TV time or toys, would be more beneficial. With almost 40% of US kids either overweight or obese, we should stress healthy eating, including cupcakes for special events.
5/28/2008 2:30 PM
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