Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Inside The Mind of a Small Business: Robicelli's

Courtesy of the ever imaginative and amazing Robicelli's, I present to you...

Ten Things You Should Know About Working For a Small Business

1. You will start to think of your bosses and coworkers as your family. Because they are. Matt and Allison’s kids’ school photos are hung on our fridges, you go to birthday parties and care about Kindergarden placements.

2. You will learn more about your boss/coworker’s gastrointestinal tract than you ever thought you would. Rachel has an abnormally large colon and Monique will never bring chick pea salad back into the kitchen. We know this and don’t ask how we found it out about each other.

3. You will also learn your coworkers deepest darkest secrets and fears. If you try to exploit those fears for any reason, you will get a speed rack thrown at you. Case and point when Mo tried to tickle Rachel who is deathly afraid of tickle farts, she almost lost a limb.

4. There is no HR department, just ask our kitchen mates, Brooklyn Cured. A lot has been made about kitchens not being conducive to women and maybe we are special people but if having a coworker eat pastrami out of your boobs is wrong we don’t want to be right.

5. Your alcohol consumption will increase. And if you never used to drink, you will start. Just do not give Matt gin, Mo is allergic to tequila and Rachel will drink that box of white wine that’s been open for 6 months and sitting next to the oven.

6. We spend hours long hours together in a warehouse. Sometimes we only see each other for long stretches at a time. The longest shift this year was pushing 15 hours. So when you and your coworker are hanging out with each other’s friends, you discuss work matters in your own language of inside jokes, cussing, and laughter. No one will understand you. And you won’t care.

7. When ish gets real in the kitchen (things burn, there’s not enough, product, eminent disaster, etc) you stay longer at work (or come in early) to get the job done. Last week due to the brownout, we had to work the next morning to get cupcakes out to the world. It sucked and you’ll complain, of course, but you always take pride in the fact that you get the job done. Then you’ll go to the batting cages and get drunk and show up to do it all over again the next day.

8. In a small business, you have to show up. There’s no middle men to hide behind, so you’ve got to pay attention and contribute your ideas and perspective. And if you call in sick you better be at the hospital. If you are not there others are working twice as hard to pick up your slack. We’ve all puked in the kitchen, so deal.

9. You don’t do this for the money. True food service people know you don’t do this for the money but with a small business like Robicelli’s our schedule and work load depend on orders, the weather, special events, etc. A steady paycheck this ain’t and we both had 9-5 office jobs before our transition into the kitchen and haven’t looked back once. So while office drones are sitting in front of a computer on a Wednesday afternoon, we take comfort in the fact that we are laying out at the beach with a beer or having lunch at Meatball Shop with no wait.

10. Finally, just laugh and be happy. If someone is having a crappy day you play “Kill, Marry, Bop” with McDonalds mascots. If you’re just showing up to collect some dollars and go home, you’re missing out on knowing awesome people and having a grand ol’ time while you get paid. So belt out “Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls just do it while washing the dishes.